Aloneness is important to our wellbeing because it is not loneliness but a powerful tool. It is vital to our peace, self-awareness and our personal growth.

Loneliness

There is a vast difference between aloneness and loneliness. Loneliness is unwanted isolation, causes emotional distress and is a feeling of disconnection. Enforced loneliness can create a sense of being misunderstood and unloved, or feeling out of place.

Loneliness can happen in the midst of a crowd of people where you feel disconnected. It is a feeling of sadness and emptiness that can result in mental and physical health problems.

Aloneness

Aloneness is one of mankind’s most powerful tools for it cultivates an inner strength and feeling of wellbeing. Aloneness is the source of renewal, personal growth, emotional regulation and balance in our lives. This is opposed to the rush and bustle of modern living that demands our attention.

The people who accept aloneness as being essential to their wellbeing, is at peace with themselves and with their Creator, the great I Am That I Am. It is the result of a person learning to walk with God which is a process or journey. 

Godly Aloneness

Enoch, Noah, Abraham, Moses and many other Old Testament saints, were ‘aloneness’ people. Most of the world’s great followers of Christ have been aloneness people.

This aloneness is not a luxury but a necessity for those who are Christ’s disciples. It is the price of choosing to be a servant of the living God. Only in times of aloneness do we clearly hear the voice of God and revel in His presence and relationship toward us.

David, Israel’s most successful king, would write, I have become estranged from my brothers and an alien to my mother’s sons, Psalm 69:8. He was called of God to a certain role and that often meant keeping his own counsel and standing alone.

Jesus Aloneness

When Jesus walked among men He frequently drew away from the crowds and from His disciples, Luke 5:16. He valued His time alone with the Father. It was this aloneness that enabled Him to carry on in a sin-sick world and fulfil His Father’s will.

When He agonized in the Garden of Gethsemane He took only His closest disciples, John, Peter and James with Him. However, even they were unable to share the despair of having to drink a cup that no other could drink, Matthew 26:39. He alone could pay the price for the redemption of all mankind, 1 Corinthians 15:3,4.

There may have been a crowd watching His crucifixion, but He alone bore the penalty of sin. Darkness covered the scene, Luke 23:44,45, for what He went through was not for mankind to look upon. Alone He was laid in a tomb away from the prying eyes of mankind. Alone He was resurrected by the power of the Holy Spirit, Romans 8:11. All this for the joy set before Him, Hebrews 12:2. Now He is seated at the right hand of the throne of God, Hebrews 12:2.

Your Cross

Jesus said His followers should take up their cross daily and deny themselves, Luke 9:23. Christians will know struggles, fiery trials, sacrifice and challenges. It is an important part of the spiritual discipline in not choosing self-will but choosing God’s will.

It’s about trusting God and having complete faith in His word. Faith that is a gift from God, Ephesians 2:8, for without faith it is impossible to please God, Hebrews 11:6. Faith that is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen, Hebrews 11:1.

You do not carry this cross in public, for your walk with God is alone and private. It is what marks you as being set aside by God.

Your Essence

The very essence of your being is private and your aloneness. Who among men knows the thoughts of a man, except the spirit of the man which is in him? 1 Corinthians 2:11. Only you know the real you.

It is there that the Spirit of God dwells in the person who is not afraid to be totally committed to full fellowship with God the Father, Son and Holy Spirit, John 14:23. It is where the Spirit of God communes privately with your spirit and is an aloneness that is important to your wellbeing.

The biggest danger is that all too often we say ‘Oh that is just my thoughts. My ideas’, when in fact it is God speaking to you. The more mature you become in Christ, Ephesians 4:13, the easier it is to recognize the voice of the Spirit of God.

Yearn for Aloneness

Like Abraham and the prophets you learn to yearn for that essential aloneness with God. Enoch walked so alone with God that God took Him, Genesis 5:24. We should desire the kind of aloneness when you are so at peace with God that you are just a breath away from heaven.

We need intentional aloneness and solitude with God. Real peace and wellbeing comes not from escaping the world, but knowing we are never alone in Christ, Deuteronomy 31:6.

Companionship

The desire for human companionship is natural and right. However, even the fellowship of like-minded Christians cannot replace the God-appointed aloneness with Him.

We are instructed to seek first the kingdom of God, Matthew 6:33. It is good to be among those who experience the same kind of aloneness and absorption with the things of God. However, the true follower of Christ knows that his or her walk is a journey that must be experienced alone. No one else is responsible for your wellbeing.

The truth is that few are the ones who find the entrance to the narrow gate, Matthew 7:13,14. Few who choose to answer the call of God to become a Person of the Presence of God. He is always a stranger and a pilgrim in a dry and weary land, Psalm 63:1. A place where only solitude with God satisfies.

An Oddity

The true follower of Christ has an odd identity. You are a chosen race, a royal priesthood. A holy nation, a people for God’s own possession, 1 Peter 2:9, for you were bought with a price, 1 Corinthians 6:20. Your greatest joy is to see the Lord promoted and self take second place.

While others are busy making noisy small talk, the true follower will often be found silent and deep in internal retrospection. Many earn the reputation of being dull and uninteresting, for there is an uncrossable gulf between the believer and society in general. The things of the earth grow steadily dim, Psalm 123:1, for they are insignificant in comparison to the wonders of heaven.

Jesus stood and wept at his friend’s grave, John 11:35. It wasn’t just what His friends were going through, but the horror of what sin did to God’s creation. This is the same kind of sorrow the aloneness-with-God person experiences. They long for the day when sin will be judged and done away with and all things will be new, Isaiah 65:17. Their greatest desire is to see God’s will done on earth as it is in heaven, Matthew 6:10.

Aloneness Important

We cannot stress enough that God-centred aloneness is vital for true wellbeing and lasting peace. The world has a thousand things that say this is the way to lasting peace, but none of that is truth. Aloneness with God is the only way to true wellbeing that will last into eternity. It is called ‘God-fellowship’ that is even better than what Adam experienced in the Garden of Eden. God-aloneness is important to your wellbeing.

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Dr. Wendy Stenberg-Tendys is a freelance writer who enjoys researching a topic and sharing words of encouragement from the Word of God.

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