The importance of first love is that it is earth shattering. There will forever be a before and after of first love, as with any other traumatic experience. First love shapes our expectations, behaviour and personal preferences for the remainder of our life.

An unknown person once wrote: ‘In all the world there are only two creatures that are larger when they are born, than when they get their growth. One is a wasp and the other is a church member.’  

The majority of Christians are like my garden hose, they grow smaller rather than larger. My garden hose expands with water, but when the water is drained out it curls back upon itself util there is a small, easy-to-handle hose. That’s what Satan thinks about most Christians – easy to handle once they move away from their first love.

Sad Judgement

Jesus said to the church at Ephesus, I have this against you that you have lost your first love, Revelation 2:4. What a sad indictment against a church that had been effective and powerful just 30 years earlier, Ephesians 1:15,16.

The most euphoric moment in any Christian’s life is when they realize the Son of God died in their place for the forgiveness of their sins. Yet, the majority of Christians become ‘less’ than what they were when they were first saved. Why did we lose our first love and how do we get it back and maintain it, should be the question every Christian asks.

Vital First Love

Science says that there are intense neurochemical changes that occur during first love. That includes the release of dopamine, norepinephrine, oxytocin and vasopressin, besides the reduction of serotonin levels. This phenomenon called psychological imprinting influences all future relationship preferences and patterns.

This happens naturally but it is the same in the spiritual realm. Faced with the knowledge that we are a fallen human with a sin nature, Romans 8:23, and we can’t alter that. Suddenly, we find a Saviour whose atonement alters everything. He alone made the way, John 14:6, for us to be reconciled into a right relationship with God. The One who gives us the gift of eternal life instead of the prospect of eternal damnation, John 3:16.

Foolish Virgins

Too many Christians are like the five foolish virgins who ran out of oil. When they finally arrived at the groom’s house the door was firmly shut and the Groom said ‘I know you not’, Matthew 25:1-13.

The majority of Christians lose that wonderful first zeal for the things of God and accept the dead average of subnormal spirituality. They become smaller as they go, than when they first began their journey with Christ. They shrink like the garden hose, instead of growing deeper, and fuller, and richer in God, Ephesians 4:13.

First Love and Marriage

No matter how precious an experience is, human beings have the inbred ability to discard it and live a humdrum life. We can’t live on the mountain top, but valley dwelling should be rich and fruitful.

The second year of a marriage is often more critical than the first year. The first love is gone and the excitement wears off. It’s time to get used to each other and learn to accept a more stable, if less emotional way of life.

The key to a successful marriage then depends on how much each partner is willing to grow and become strong as a united unit. When God is on your side, one could chase a thousand and two put ten thousand to flight, Deuteronomy 32:30.

The Reality

A true conversion to the Kingdom of God is like a motor car doing a ‘u turn’. Going one way one moment and the exact opposite the next. Though, once the novelty of the joy and excitement wears off, you discover the Christian walk is not a quiet walk of endless peace and a rest in the park. Instead, they encounter fiery trials in a war zone. Our battle is not against flesh and blood but against the rulers, against the powers. Against the world forces of this darkness. Against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places, Ephesians 6:12.

Satan’s work is God’s victory, for the Christian walk should always be a path of growth. No matter how long we walk in the Lord, there is always more growth to achieve, until that day we stand in His glorious presence as an overcomer.

Many Christians will find they have grown only to the ankles, the knees, or the waist, and have not attempted to attain to the fullness of the stature that belongs to Christ, Ephesians 4:13. We will never reach that fullness in this life, but we should always press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus, Philippians 3:12-14.

Every Day is Sweeter

Finding every day sweeter than the day before is all about the depth of relationship we have with God the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Jesus said, If anyone loves Me he will keep My word and My Father will love him. And we will come to him and make Our abode with him, John 14:23. That has to be one of the most awesome statements in Scripture – the Spirit of God desires to make His home in the true believer. 

The only thing we will take to heaven is our relationship with Him. God gave man a free will, so the depth of our commitment/relationship to our Saviour is up to us.

Growth is automatic in the natural but you need to feed growth-fuel for maximum growth. Spiritually you grow by feeding on spiritual fuel – the Word of God. Only the depth of our relationship with God will maintain endless spiritual enthusiasm and ensure we do not run out of ‘oil’.

Importance of First Love

In God every moment is new and nothing ever grows old. He can show us a new aspect of His glory each day, which He will do for all eternity. Yet, no matter how much He shows us, we will have only just begun to explore the depths of the riches of His infinite being. All this is beyond our human comprehension for we are earth bound.

When we are totally sold out to God and acknowledge that we are His precious possession, I Peter 2:9, bought with a price, 1 Corinthians 6:20, our spiritual enthusiasm will never die. What we experience in the glow of first love should grow deeper and richer every day.

Setting your mind on heavenly things Colossians 3:2, is not a burden when you stay in the wonder of first love. He is first, last and everything, and far more precious than life itself. That is the real relationship that reaches on into eternity – always growing and never shrinking. You can have that kind of personal relationship with your Creator?

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Dr. Wendy Stenberg-Tendys is a freelance writer and servant of the Lord who enjoys researching a topic and sharing words of encouragement from the Word of God.

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