The importance of first love influences the rest of your life, for it is one of the most remarkable experiences of life. This is true both naturally and spiritually.

A New World

First love introduces you to the possibilities of an entire new world, taking you to places you’ve never been before. It is filled with intense euphoric emotions and newfound vulnerability. That usually leads to personal growth and sets a benchmark for all future relationships.

It is like any other major event in life, forever there is a before and after. First love is something you can never undo even if you don’t fully understand it or truly appreciate it.

Characteristics of First Love

The outstanding characteristic is the overwhelming eagerness to please. First love finds everything in the beloved and seeks nothing outside. It is accompanied by a feeling of an undying devotion to the object of that love.

It is unique because of its purity and intense joy. There is no cynicism and is love without reservation. There is no comparison to past experiences.

It is spontaneous and extravagant, and nothing is too good for the beloved. It is as if your heart burns inside you, Luke 24:32, just at the mention of the beloved’s name.

Naturally and Spiritually

All the above is true about first love in the natural world, but the spiritual world holds a more powerful first love.

When you first realize that Christ died in your place is a euphoric experience. Through His shed blood your sins are washed away. The Apostle called it being ‘born again’, John 3:7.

Born Again

Before this you belonged to the kingdom where Satan is your father, John 8:44. Then you are born into the kingdom of God by the Spirit of God, John 3:6. You are adopted into the family of God as a son of God. Your enter into an eternal relationship with God, Ephesians 1:15, Romans 8:15.

You are introduced to the wonder that this life is temporal and fleeting. However, you have the promise of eternal life instead of the surety of eternal death, John 3:16.

Left Your First Love

Jesus told the church of Ephesus that it had many good points. However, He said, ‘I have this against you, that you have left your first love’, Revelation 2:4.

Thirty years before John wrote these words, the church at Ephesus had been commended for its outstanding love, Ephesians 1:15,16. Many of the Christians at the time of John’s writing would have been second generation Christians.

They did not have the zeal to please the Lord or desire to live in an authentic relationship with God. However, their purity of doctrine and endurance in service were unquestioned. But, the excitement of first love was gone.

Becoming Jaded

Through the demands of life and its fiery trials, 1 Peter 4:12,13, it is easy to become jaded and tired of the battle. After all, Satan’s one aim is to disillusion the believer and turn them away from God. From the beginning Satan is a murderer, liar, John 8:44, and thief, John 10:10, and the archenemy of everything that belongs to God.

The church at Ephesus had persevered and endured for the name of Christ, Revelation 2:3. They were commended for not having grown weary in doing that which was right. However, they had lost the joy of what Christ did for them at Calvary. They served out of obligation, not out of eagerness to please the One who had given His all for them.

Marriage

In the natural world there is nothing like the excitement and wonder of finding someone with whom you feel totally compatible. There is a whole world of wonder waiting for you both and the belief you can achieve anything together. So, you enter into a marriage contract.

Sadly, you look down the years and find an entirely different scenario. The flush of first love is long gone, if the marriage has managed to survive at all. The young couple you once were, is lost in the pressure of life and the passing of time. Instead if growing together, the vast majority of couples grow apart.

Cynicism and Criticism

Love turns to cynicism and criticism and all the things that grow out of that. Add to that the guilt of knowing you made a mistake and the marriage was not God-ordained as you had hoped.

It becomes a miracle to find an elderly couple who are still in love with each other. They have not learned that true love is unconditional.

Growth Changes Us

Growth changes us and life looks entirely different at age 40, to what it was as a teenager. Though the body ages, the truth that created the first love never alters, either naturally or spiritually. The problem is we allow the changes to overwhelm us. We lose sight of the very thing that gave us hope in the first place.

Many couples move on to the second phase of intense love. However, reaching the stage of unconditional love is a rarity.

People either quit marriage or continue as an unhappy obligation. They allow their experience to sour their outlook on life. This affects not only on the marriage relationship.

Christ and Marriage

The Apostle used marriage as a parable to show the relationship between Christ and His church, Ephesians 5:25.

Like the church at Ephesus we can let our relationship with God become mundane and ritualized. That is not what Christ died for. He gave His life for us, so that we could enter into a glorious, personal relationship with the great I Am That I Am, Exodus 3:3.

The true follower of Christ knows what it is to live daily in the glow of First Love, for every day walked with Jesus grows sweeter than the day before. God’s desire is that we grow into the stature of the fulness of Christ, Ephesians 4:13. He desires we live in a deeply committed relationship with God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit.

A Journey

To live in Christ is to know that we are on a journey that never ends. This walk on earth is temporary and a mere testing ground for what lies ahead. Our journey began the day we were born again and will never end. To leave this earth is to be with the Lord for all eternity, 2 Corinthians 5:8.

Like those experiencing first love in the natural, there is a world of wonder waiting for us. Things which eye has not seen and ear has not heard, and which have not entered the heart of man, all that God has prepared for those who love Him, 1 Corinthians 2:9.

The mercies of God are new every morning, Lamentations 3:22, 23. Every day we should fall in love anew with our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. Every day we should be excited to commune with our Heavenly Father and be delighted to be led by the Spirit of God. Daily we should return to our first love of what Christ did at Calvary when He gave His all, that we might have a relationship with our Heavenly Father. First love is a privilege and defines who you are.

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Dr. Wendy Stenberg-Tendys is a freelance writer who enjoys researching a topic and sharing words of encouragement from the Word of God.

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