What or who are true hunter? The terms hunting and dating seem a world apart, but is that true? Hunters and gatherers are terms used to describe people looking for a date or mate. As a dater, can you tell the difference between a true hunter and a person who is merely a gatherer?
Ancient Hunters
Human beings used to be hunter-gatherers, collecting wild nuts, berries, fruits, wild grains, and green plants and hunting big game. Hunting and gathering was the way of survival because of limited sources. In ancient society the hunter was an important person in the community. Hunting was a survival strategy in a nomadic community.
So, what has this to do with what is a true hunter in the dating arena?
Perils of Dating
Every woman who is single faces the struggle of trying to find a suitable man to date. Trying to discern the genuine from the pretenders is a daunting task. The majority of females have found that the ‘perfect partner’ is just an illusion. The truth is often discovered too late, that he is only a gatherer. There are so many men that say what they think the girls want to hear. ‘I bet you say that to all the girls.’
I remember hearing an older brother boast about the lies he told the girls the night before. One minute, a highly successful businessman, the next, a wild adventurer. All this to get the girl to yield to his wishes. Anything in a skirt was fair game.
Two Types of Men
There are two types of males in this world. The true hunter is sincere while the gatherer, the false hunter, is a grab-and-let-go-kind of guy, or ‘Do it my way, or else…’
A good hunter will pursue a woman who interests him without the need for games. He understands dating is a two-way street. The gatherer gives of himself but expects a lot in return. He demands the woman’s entire world, but only wants her to be a slice of his. This is the way it is in any male-dominated society, where women are only chattels. This is something, women have fought against since the time of the Suffragettes.
What to Look For
The true hunter’s words are backed by sincere intent and purpose, while the ‘gatherer’ will say the right thing to obtain his objective, but his words are devoid of meaning. The gatherer is only there for the cosmetic and instant result. If you wait until you see sure signs of abuse and men behaving badly, it is usually too late and you find yourself in a disappointing relationship.
The true hunter is confident and knows how to intelligently analyse a situation, showing respect for the ‘hunted’ and for other hunters. The gatherer makes a mockery of a situation, often hurting others, and exhibits a macabre sense of enjoyment. The gatherer is driven by insecurity and is a narcissist.
Rare Breed
Men often find it difficult to be honest about their feelings, but a true hunter will act without fear of rejection. If you have met a true hunter, please put your hand up, as I fear they are a rare breed. Most are like the gatherer and cloak their true feelings with indifference.
The true hunter knows that it takes an equal amount of effort for a relationship to flourish, while the gatherer will always demand to have the upper hand in a relationship, looking for validation from everyone. He would rather lie, than risk coming across as a ‘bad guy’. Others easily sway his decisions.
A true hunter will look to the future, for just as in the wild, a true hunter is a conservationist. The gatherer grabs what he can when he can, saying things he can’t fulfil. His aim is to bind the woman to him with his words. Empty promises do not faze him, despite the amount of hurt he causes.
The Female Hunter
There are exceptions to the male hunter today, just as there were in ancient times. Research, published in Science Advances and National Geographic reveals that 30 to 50% of big-game hunters in ancient times were probably women. Archaeologists recently excavated the remains of a female buried with items that suggests she hunted big game. Since ancient big-game hunting has long been perceived as being a man’s job, the finding inspired researchers to dig deeper.
In the dating game, Marlene Dietrich was a huntress supreme, with any available male her prey. At least that is what is appears as you read her story. However, this cannot be laid at just Marlene Dietrich’s feet. If you place a woman in a group of men, she will decide which male she will take.
Killer Instinct
A true hunter has lots of confidence and patience, but it requires a killer instinct. Marlene Dietrich’s leading men would believe they were in a real relationship with the alluring star. Yet, the moment filming finished, all communication was cut off, as she moved on to her next ‘victim’.
It was a way chic woman often survived in a man’s world and Hollywood was a mini, cosmic world of its own, as ‘pretend’ as the world portrayed on the silver screen and women were merely prawns in their end game.
The True Hunter
The true hunter is assertive, sociable, patient, independent and opportunistic and not afraid of challenges. He can be authoritative, as well as empathetic, depending on the situation.
All successful people have a hunter mentality. They have a goal, look for an opportunity, and navigate towards that goal. They have a sense of urgency and are results orientated. They are self-starters who need to get results and are not put off by failures, which are merely opportunities to learn.
Dating On-line
No longer do prospective daters need to go to a singles bar or place themselves in a hunting situation. All they need to do is to sign up to an on-line dating service. There, the dangers multiply a hundredfold, as it is almost impossible to differentiate between true and false information on the Internet. Even in face-to-face meetings there is the huge danger of hidden baggage..
Therapist Suggestions
So, here are tips some ‘wonderful’ therapist suggests:
‘You will find love when you aren’t looking for it. Look for others with common interests to you. Don’t seek romance, seek partnership. Be yourself and calmly assess the relationship. Always remember, instant sexual attraction fades with time. Love cannot be rushed.’
Someone else suggests: focus on the present, not the past. Talk about the future early. Make sure you are attracted to the person, not the idea of a relationship. Don’t skip the sex talk. Meet each other’s friends. Don’t have important conversations over text and above all be yourself.
Finding a True Hunter
In trying to find a true hunter and not just a gatherer, look for openness, positivity, honesty, empathy, respect, sensitivity, physical affection, commitment, independence, and make sure he is funny. Not just needing you to laugh at his jokes.
Armed with a checklist like that, I suggest you curl up with a good book, written by Joni Scott and a glass of wine.
For the Married Ones
There is a 2-2-2 rule to keep the romance in your relationship. If you have managed to find the true hunter and walked down the aisle, go on a date-night every two weeks. Spend a weekend away every two months and take a week-long vacation away every two years without the kids. Good luck with all that. I’m going back to a good book but one final word: If we choose to act like prey they will act as predators.
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