How to make your words effective is of vital importance. Words are the primary tools you have for expressing yourself, persuading others, building relationships and achieving your goals. Your words create and impact how others perceive you and reflects the essence of the real you. For as a man thinks within himself, so he is, Proverbs 23:7.

Greatest Danger

The greatest danger we face in speaking is that our words are easily misunderstood and able to cause offence and resentment. The spoken word cannot be taken back and can cause irreparable harm that can last a lifetime.

Whether in a personal conversation, professional setting, or public speaking, effective communication ensures that our message is understood and valued. Certain words may crop up in a conversation that tells us more about the speaker than what they are telling us, just as our words tell a lot about us. Words reveal there is damage in the soul, that has been inflicted either with or without justification.

Relationships run into deep trouble when the participants can’t or won’t hear what the other person is saying. Speaking is about being a keen listener as well, so it is important we listen to the people we communicate with.

Words of Appeal

Often, we use words in self-defense, just as an injured player, who has been fouled might appeal to the referee. Such a person has a defeated attitude and is in self-defense mode. They readily blame others for the way they have been treated and feel deeply offended and resentful.

When others hear our words they receive them through the filter of their own feelings and experience. When we are wronged we are instantly faced with life-changing choices.  We can accept the hurt-bearing words and actions and instantly enter the road of defeat and hopelessness. Or, we can choose to be an overcomer, just as Christ was.

When we truly understand the Way of the Cross we will never whine about being mistreated or unfairly used. Christ is the great example of this. Body broken and bleeding, after having been bitterly maligned and mocked, hanging on a cruel wooden cross He cries out, Father forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing, Luke 23:34. Those few words were more effective than a thousand words spoken.

War of Words

We live in a world where there is a constant war of words. Snide remarks, arguments, inuendoes, insults and criticism all leave their mark. Just as words of comfort and encouragement have great effect. As followers of Christ may our words be a blessing and not a curse to others.

The tongue is a small part of the body and yet it boasts of great things, James 3:5. It is like the rudder of large ship, or the bit in a horse’s mouth. Small but so powerful it has a control far beyond its proportion.

In the war of words, there is no more powerful word than the Word of God. For the word of God is a living and active and sharper than any two-edged sword. Piercing as the division of the soul and spirit, of both joints and marrow. Able to judge the thoughts and intents of the heart, Hebrews 4:32. However, to be effective in sharing the Word, you must know the Word, for the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh, but divinely powerful for the destruction of fortresses, 2 Corinthians 10:4.

Keys to Make Words Effective

There are several keys that make your words effective. The old saying is to think before you speak, and that holds even truer in a world of utter chaos. Too many hurts are caused by someone just blurting out whatever comes into their head.

It you want your words to be effective you must think clearly, and speak clearly and concisely. Unnecessary jargon, along with ummming and ahhhing wastes everyone’s time and tests the patience of the listener. It is important to avoid rambling.

Your choice of words is also important. Simple and direct language is the most effective way to speak. That means not speaking down as if to a little child, or sounding like an over-educated professor.

How Your Audience

Consider what your listener cares about and what resonates with him or her. You are not there to impose your opinion on them, so it may be wiser to hold your peace on certain subjects, particularly things like politics. Even sharing the gospel of Christ will be more effective if you first understand where the other person is coming from.

There are times to be strong in your opinion, as Christ was with the Pharisees and Sadducees. Yet, to others He spoke as gently as parent speaking to a child. For your words to be truly effective you need to adapt your tone and vocabulary to whoever you are speaking to. Hear what the other person is saying and watch their reaction to your words.

Stop to Listen

No correction is pleasant, but there are times when you need to listen to the effect your words are having on others. To continue heedlessly is the action of an overbearing person and a bully.

There is no place for ‘You must listen to what I am saying’, for life is about growing together. The day we are too old to empathize with others, or hear what they have to say, is the day we become boring and our words become ineffective and irritating.

Emotion and Storytelling

People connect with stories and emotions, rather than facts alone. Jesus told parables that related to the world the people of the day lived in. Harvest, types of soil, sunset, mustard seed, light on a hill, pearl of great price, were among the many ways Christ gave the people something to relate to, as He disclosed the secrets of heaven.

We read of Jesus calming the storm, healing the man lowered through the roof, or Peter walking on the water and we are inspired by the stories. If Jesus had told only facts about heaven it would have become a litany of facts rather than inspiring us to search for the narrow gate, Matthew 7:13,14 and form a personal relationship with the great I Am that I Am.

Life is a journey that each of us must travel. Words impact how we travel that road, which is seldom smooth and easy. The more you submit to the mighty hand of God, James 4:7, the more fiery trials you seem to encounter, 1 Peter 4:12. It is at those points that words of comfort encourage you to enjoy the benefits of being an overcomer.

How to Make your Words Effective

To make your words truly effective spend time thinking on the words of Paul. I have been crucified with Christ and it is no longer I who live but Christ who lives in me. The life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me, Galatians 2:20.

When we speak privately or publicly, our words will be far more effective if we are consciously led by the Holy Spirit who indwells us, 1 Corinthians 3:16. Our words are important for they pierce the heart of the listener, Psalm 12:18. Words are the one of the most powerful tools we have, so they need to used wisely if we want to be heard and be effective.

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Dr. Wendy Stenberg-Tendys is a freelance writer who enjoys researching a topic and sharing words of encouragement from the Word of God.

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