You can be a smart women and find happiness because you don’t focus on your lack but enjoy what you have in abundance. Life isn’t perfect and neither are any of us, but we can choose where we put our focus and how we perceive things. Is the glass half full or half empty?
Appreciating what we do have is not about settling for ‘less’ but appreciating what we do have. It could be our health, a family, friends, a goal, some great experiences, or a zillion other things. “I thought I had a problem because I had no shoes, until I saw the person without feet”.
Smart Women are Not Egotists
A smart woman is happy because she has an understanding or her self-awareness. Anyone who is the centre of their own life is narrow-minded with blinkers on. The happy people are giving people and concerned for those around them. They have a good dose of social awareness and are outward looking.
A Harvard study concluded that people gained more satisfaction when they give money away than spending it on themselves. It may not necessarily be money, but there are numerous ways to give to others. It might just be an empathetic pat on the hand, or being sensitive to how others are feeling, or simply letting someone with less items than you go first at the supermarket checkout.
Smart Women Care for Themselves
To be a smart woman is to not ignore your own needs, caring for yourself, body, soul and spirit. The smart, happy woman knows how to care for herself first. Being smart is not about becoming a people pleaser, as there are times when it is essential to say “No”. There are also times when the smart woman will speak up, having assessed the situation carefully. Martin Luther King Jnr, the youngest man to receive a Nobel Prize said, “Our lives being to end if we become silent about things that matter. “
To be a smart woman is to find a balance between what is essential to her own well-being and the needs of those she is in contact with. She knows her own self-worth, something many of us battle with. It’s not what others think of you, but who you think you are. ‘As a person thinks in her heart is what she is’.
Smart Women Take Responsibility
A woman who does not take responsibility for her own life will ever remain a victim. Living at the mercy of others is not living healthily or thriving. Sometimes a smart woman needs to find the courage to break relationships that make her a victim. The smart woman knows she does not need to live in defeat. The smart woman knows she does not need to live in defeat.
Control is about being responsible for your own feelings, and actions, in spite of what is happening. You can’t control the curved balls life throws at you, but you can control how you react to them. They are confident enough in themselves, they will act with self-assurance. Having confidence without breaking into arrogance. This enables the smart woman to follow her dreams and take opportunities whenever they show up.
Smart Women do not Hassle over Small Things
Many things in life are inconsequential to the bigger picture, but it is ‘the little foxes that spoil the vine’. We can become so fixated on the small things, and little irritations, that we lose sight of our vision and goals. Stress is a killer, so the smart woman learns how to recognize her stress points and knows how to minimize them.
We all travel through dark valleys in one form or another, but the smart woman never takes her eyes off the mountaintops. Valleys are not forever, and rough times do pass, though the greatest growth is always in the valleys.
A Smart Woman Practices Forgiveness
At some point in our life, we all need to be forgiven. To hold unforgiveness is to fill life with resentment. We all make mistakes and feel wronged at some point, and others are entitled to their opinion. The smart woman has a high level of emotional intelligence. If you can’t feel pain, you won’t practice meaningful empathy.
Scientists say that the brain registers emotional rejection, or social exclusion, the same way it registers pain. We internalize hurt and replay wrongdoings over and over again and end up carrying a grudge. Nelson Mandela said, “Resentment is like drinking poison and hoping it will kill your enemy”.
When others criticize it hurts, but to be a smart woman is to look at criticism and learns from it for her betterment. Every mistake, or failure, has something to teach us. The smart woman finds ways to process negative emotions and moves on, forgiving where necessary. There is also an art to apologizing with meaning and empathy is essential. “There but for the grace of God, go I.”
A Smart Woman Recognizes Negativity
We live in a world of chaos, but to dwell on negativity is to sour your life. Even in the midst of pain, you can find grains to smile about. Smart women develop their critical thinking skills, so as to make informed decisions both in their personal and professional lives.
It is all too easy to adopt a worrying attitude, that creates stress, anxiety and unhappiness, for ourselves and those around us. If you always expect the worst, there is a good chance it will happen. There are things you can’t control, so acceptance plays a vital role. The death of a child or other tragedy, is devastating, but the smart woman will adjust to the new circumstances and continue her journey of life.
To Be a Smart Woman is to Love Yourself
If you can’t love yourself, warts and all, you can’t love others. You are your own worst critic, and demand you try to be superwoman. You need to give yourself as much love and respect as you give others and cut yourself some slack.
You need a new mantra, “I’m not perfect and that’s okay. I give of my best and none can expect any more.” Love yourself, do what you enjoy doing and enjoy what you do. Learn to be a smart woman for smart women are successful women who can survive and thrive, despite everything.
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